Why is getting help so hard?

I get it. You’ve worked up the courage to start therapy, and now you need to find a therapist. But it quickly becomes a full-time job – you have to understand all the terms these therapists are using – psychodynamic, integrative, CBT, the list goes on - and on. What’s the difference between accredited and registered anyway? And how much should I be paying for this?!

A lot of people give up at this point, and to be honest I don’t blame them. It should be easier, and it certainly shouldn’t be stressful or compound any anxiety that is already present.

Are counsellors hard to find?

There are loads of good counsellors out there, but it might feel hard to work out how to find the right one for you. There are a few important things to think about when going about your search. Let me break it down for you.

• These therapists are talking another language

  Terms like Psychodynamic, Humanistic, Integrative, Transpersonal, Existential etc. simply refer to the training each therapist has undergone and how they use these theories in their practice.

If you have an idea of the type of therapy you want to do, then obviously look for these terms during your search. Equally, it may be more useful to ask the therapist directly to understand how they typically work - all therapists will work differently, even if they have had the same training.

• Can you really help me?

  It’s most likely that you are seeking out therapy to help you with something particular. Look for a therapist with experience of working with the thing that you’re seeking help for. Most therapists will state their experience or at least provide a sample list of areas of concern such as anxiety, disordered eating, self-esteem, etc., if they have experience of working with them. It doesn’t matter if you have a long list of things, it’s important that you get the help you need from someone who will be able to understand your experience.  

• It’s all about the relationship

  In therapy, the relationship between the therapist and the client is the bedrock of the work. No matter what training your therapist has done, you need to feel safe and comfortable being vulnerable with them.

  You get to decide your therapist, nobody else, so as I always say to prospective clients – if you are able to, try and have an initial session or quick phone call with a few therapists to help you get a better sense of how they work and whether they are the right fit for what you need.

• Check their credentials

  It is a largely unregulated landscape out there, and there are people using titles such as counsellor, psychotherapist and therapist who aren’t actually qualified.

But here’s what you need to know. The BACP and UKCP are the main professional bodies in the UK. These bodies ensure all their registered counsellors have qualified on courses which meet their rigorous standards. Once qualified, a counsellor will usually register with one of these bodies.

The BACP and UKCP make sure that all registered and practicing therapists adhere to a strict ethical framework, maintain requirements for continuing professional development and are subject to their complaints and conduct process.

The BACP and UKCP also hold registers of all counsellors who are qualified on their approved courses, so you can always check if you’re unsure.

Once a therapist is registered, they are able to undergo further certification to become an Accredited Member of the BACP or UKCP.

• An investment in you

  Therapy is most definitely an investment of time and money, so make sure you find a set up that works for your circumstances.

Many therapists offer sessions at a reduced fee and some may agree to work short-term for a set amount of sessions to help it feel more manageable.

It may seem obvious, but have a think about what setting may work best for you. What’s your state of mind like at the end of your working day / working week? Would having face to face sessions guarantee you more privacy?

It may feel tempting to squeeze in online therapy on your lunchbreak while working from home, but think about how you may be feeling after a morning of meetings, or before an afternoon of deadlines. Will you be distracted? Will you have screen fatigue?

If you’re opting for online therapy, try to take a short walk before and after your session to mimic a commute - it may help you to prepare for your session and process it afterwards.

• Will you get me?

  It may feel important to you to work with somebody who has lived experience of part of your identity e.g., gender, disability, sexuality, ethnicity, etc. It may be useful to share this with your therapist, if you feel comfortable doing so.

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